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THE WEBLOG ARCHIVES: April 2003
April 29, 2003
JVG: The Comic Strip | 04:13 AM
Courtesy of programming genius JCN, a new comics feature: a strip generated at random from panels of previous strips. Thanks to advanced technology, we've gone a step beyond Hypernorm, which randomly picked the last panel only. Utter nonsense, more often than not, but I find it endlessly amusing. Then again, I'm easily endlessly amused. Or is that amusingly endlessly easy?
April 28, 2003
Dreamlog | 12:25 PM
Sliding, surfing down the subway steps; someone behind says "Wow, he was never any good at sports in high school." At the bottom, hop the turnstile — the two old ladies know me — then out the back door and fall waist deep into snow. I call for help, pretend I'm stuck for the benefit of another guy from high school, who walks away without offering assistance. Nice guy. Drag myself out of the snowdrift and across the lawn, buried only thigh deep there. Crawling up the hill: have to get to the house at the top, something to do. Slow work. My hand breaks through the snowcrust, light glows bluely up from one of the ground fixtures. Almost at the top. I grab the underbrush to pull myself up.
Marty comments: "You have been bitten by a zombie vampire and can barely crawl..."
Lock comments: "I cannot help but read this exciting new Dreamlog archive as a single running narrative that should be submitted with all due haste to the Fringe Festival. "
April 26, 2003
Review: The New York Auto Show | 07:37 PM
What could be more boring?
April 24, 2003
Famous Friends Update | 11:47 AM
In the news: Rebecca is cross-examined by the Princeton Packet. This weekend, the "folk-jazz-rocker" performs at The New Jersey Folk Festival, and then on May 1 at the Stephen Talkhouse in Amagansett, which is, according to our resident Hamptons expert, "an exceptionally cool venue."
April 23, 2003
A Sobering Thought | 01:14 PM
The most distressing part of the Bloomberg doomsday budget, as the Times points out today, is the forced relocation of longtime Brooklyn residents. Clearly, City Hall never considered the substantial loss of social status for animals who have to move to the Bronx.
April 22, 2003
The Early Years: Today in History | 10:26 AM
In this report, filed twenty-one years ago today, I carefully balance a number of disparate elements: news report, drawing of a castle, and math quiz. Needless to say, the effort is deemed "excellent" by the reviewers.
April 21, 2003
Meet Bobby Banana®! | 12:38 PM
April 20, 2003
Xina Discovers The True Meaning of Easter | 01:44 AM
April 18, 2003
Telemarketing Failures | 01:11 PM
April 17, 2003
Dreamlog | 12:39 PM
Backyard at my grandmother's house: a large man is taking the deck furniture. She has failed to make the payments, he claims, and it is therefore being repossessed. He tries to attach a chair to the hook that hangs from the helicopter. The chair is green, metal. The paint is chipping. I grab the hook. The helicopter hovers above. "I find it hard to believe," I reply, "That this 50-year old furniture is not long since paid for." The man steps forward, too close, too tall. In the window: the cat, hungry, meows. My grandmother does not have a cat. Later, as I leave, the huge tree in the center of the lawn, buffeted by wind, cracks and falls. It misses the house.
April 16, 2003
Production Update | 10:58 AM
For those of you that were wondering how difficult it would be to drive across the Manhattan Bridge with a giant fake rock strapped to the roof of your car, the answer is: not very. Although you do run the serious risk of bemused looks from traffic cops.
April 15, 2003
JVG Inbox | 11:32 AM
One reader takes issue with perceived "New Jersey Bashing" in this space:
April 14, 2003
The Best Of Gawker | 12:02 PM
Congratulations to Gawker, which celebrates its four-month anniversary this week. Since December, Elizabeth and Nick have obsessively brought us everything we ever needed to know about things we never needed to know anything about. From the incessant Tina Brown coverage to the "no J-Lo" policy (a custom more honored in the breach than in the observance), Gawker is, by my accounts, a winner.
April 13, 2003
Now That I'm Famous: The Press | 11:19 PM
For those of you who didn't feel like downloading the PDF, my profile in Dramatics Magazine — in which I make such insightful observations as "You need to have a couple of people to step in if an actor is injured during a show" — is now online.
April 10, 2003
Now That I'm Famous: My Very First Stalker | 11:06 AM
Just between you and me, I think Aaron Bailey is following me around. First he "accidentally" runs into me on my birthday, and then today he "happens" to be taking the F train home in the middle of the day to "pay his rent." He claimed the encounter was a "coincidence," but I think we all know that rent is due on the first of the month.
April 09, 2003
Ninjas in the News | 05:19 PM
TheaterMania takes in Tiny Ninja Theater, and approves. As well, Xina's photo of Romeo & Juliet graces the cover of Dramatics Magazine, which features an article that describes me as a "businessman" and quotes Dov quoting Yoda. Both note the clumsiness of Melanie Hipchikz, who plays Juliet.
April 08, 2003
More Scenes From Week One of The Smoking Ban | 11:38 AM
Lock's Below 14th post-ban vignettes, not surprisingly, support his pro-smoking agenda. My own experiences, also perhaps unsurprisingly, have supported my own position...
April 07, 2003
From The Files: Drool | 07:35 PM
Being the third in an ongoing series of rare and unpublished works by the author which, for one reason or another, were never presented to the public at large.
April 04, 2003
Insider Info? | 02:13 PM
Based on the success of Chicago, and the catastrophic performance of its recent releases, Disney's Imagineers are toying with a new concept: animated musicals. Only time will tell whether the studio can successfully merge two such diametrically opposing genres.
April 03, 2003
Observed | 01:43 AM
Clearance Aisle, Toys "R" Us:
April 01, 2003
JVG: The Comic Strip | 04:47 AM
The first day of my 30th year brings the introduction of a long-requested feature to this website: a shiny new comic strip.
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