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Two Snail or Not Two Snail?
by Jay Veegee


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August 25, 2003

The Morning After | 11:47 AM

I awake to find the sun streaming across my bedroom, and my fame shining off me like a brilliant orange pie.

As you might imagine, the constant media attention of the past few weeks has been though not unexpected exhausting. "Exhausting," you scoff, letting your eyes roll back slightly, "you loved every minute of it." I shake my head, magnanimous in my greater knowledge, lay my hand gently on yours, look deeply, earnestly into your eyes, and smile winningly. "Until you've been where I have," I whisper, "you can never know my pain."

What's worse, I have had to turn my attention to the minutia of putting on a production, rather than devoting my full energies to the more important task of being famous. It's not quite over yet in a few more days, a revised Man of Infinite Desire performs at the Woodstock Fringe but when it is, I regret to inform my fans that I will be allowing myself to fall out of the limelight for a while.

Will I seclude myself in my Hollywood Manse, guard dogs at the ready outside, as some do when they wish to become a Celebrity Recluse? I will not. I will take this time to move freely amongst you, the ordinary unfamous masses, pretending that I am one of your own. By giving myself a moment to reflect on what it is like to be one of the little people, I hope to gain a greater understanding of my own fame.

I will, of course, blog the entire experience for posterity.

August 17, 2003

"Buddy" Rescheduled | 11:28 AM

The rumor that Buddy himself caused the blackout in order to get the shows cancelled is, of course, ludicrous. Even if he had, if wasn't effective; we're adding two replacement shows anyway.

The dates:
Tuesday, August 19th @ 7:00pm
Thursday, August 21st @ 7:15pm 11:30pm

at the same LES location:
Teatro La Tea
107 Suffolk Street
between Rivington and Delancey

Good news for all you screwups who didn't manage to get tickets the first time around: these shows aren't being presold, so you've got two more chances. Tickets go on sale at the door 15 minutes before showtime, cash only, $15 each.

Bad news for all of you non-screwups who actually bought tickets for the blackout shows. You might still get in, but... (the Fringe's official announcement)

Holding tickets for FringeNYC Performances 8/14 or 8/15? For those of you who had purchased tickets for shows on Thursday the 14th or Friday the 15th (the two days of shows we had to cancel) you will be refunded in one of two ways, depending upon how you purchased your tickets.

ADVANCE SALES BY WEB OR PHONE - If you purchased your tickets at or, or via our phone room, you have already been issued a refund by TicketWeb, our ticketing partner.

ADVANCE SALES AT FringeCENTRAL - If you purchased tickets in advance at FringeCENTRAL, please send the tickets, and a self-addressed stamped envelope to:

The Present Company
520 Eighth Avenue, Ste. 311
New York, NY 10018

We will be issuing refund checks for tickets which are mailed to us.

We're sorry, but we are not set up to do "exchanges" of tickets from one performance into another. We must refund your tickets for the cancelled performances and you can purchase tickets for the new performances. Thank you for your understanding.

Rescheduled Performances
We are working to re-schedule performances that were cancelled on Thursday and Friday due to the power outage. As soon as we have a list of added performances, we'll send them out via this stay tuned! Unfortunately, we won't be able to sell advance tickets for these shows. Tickets will be available at the box office at the venue where the show is playing, fifteen minutes prior to the announced curtain time. Sales will be cash only.


August 15, 2003

Blackout! | 10:08 AM

1. Last night's show: Cancelled.

2. Least fun: The Brooklyn Bridge swaying as I walked over it. Nothing like sheer, unadulterated terror to put things in perspective.

3. Most amusing: Borough President Marty Markowitz waiting at the Brooklyn side of the bridge to welcome everyone home, and declaring that "all of Brooklyn is a block party tonight!" Good call, Marty. Good call.

4. Thanks to: the woman who gave me a hair elastic because she thought I looked hot.

5. JCN already has his photos online, as does Gothamist.

August 10, 2003

Now that I'm Grandma | 11:06 AM

Grandma comments on the most recent Times article.

"Well, now I'm the famous grandmother of the famous grandson."

August 09, 2003

Opening Night! | 11:14 AM

And I wax effusive over at the production blog. And, to make it all the worse, I actually mean it.

August 07, 2003

Guest Stripper | 02:43 AM

This week, I am so famous, I have little time for anything else. So, I've brought in a ghost artist to handle the strip until opening night of "Buddy". No need to fret; this talented draftsman will likely be able to replicate my style so exactly that you'll hardly know I'm gone.

August 06, 2003

The time has come | 12:08 PM

Since posting has been slow this week, I'm opening up the comments on this entry to allow the general public a chance to talk about how famous I am.

JVG comments: "Gosh, I'm famous!"

Anne comments: "JVG's gonna live forever JVG's gonna learn how to fly (High!) JVG's gonna make it to heaven People will see JVG and cry. Remember!"

August 05, 2003

I guess it was inevitable | 11:51 AM

Though I'm surprised that Rush & Malloy decided to highlight my prison fun, and not my numerous, torrid affairs with supermodels. Strange.

Leech Research Blog | 11:21 AM

An old college friend writes, positing that her own personal blog might not be as engaging as some, due to her current position in the Leech Research field. If the sample entry she sent is any indication, I think she's very, very wrong.

The leech neurons today are indescribably exciting! Look at those motherf*cking spikes! It reminds me of the time I poked an aplysia buccal ganglion neuron, only to find the tonically spiking L7 was actually a burster! Can you believe it? Bursting! That's a story for the grandkids.

August 04, 2003

Advice from my Publicist | 11:42 AM

"There's nothing like a celebrity with an eating disorder. It just makes things more interesting for the press."

August 02, 2003

Selling Out | 06:35 PM

I have returned from my sojourn to find that the opening night of "Buddy" Cianci: the musical is sold out, due no doubt to the enormous selling power inherent in the name.

By which I mean, of course, my name.

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Fine Burlesque Entertainments
Nasty Canasta
Official Burlesque Artist of, cheese queen of Coney Island
Jonny Porkpie
Nasty puppeteer and Burlesque Mayor of New York City.


Tales from the Established Norm
The post-college episodes of the strip from college.
One strip. One thousand endings.

Fred, The Obnoxious Goldfish
An angry slice of piscine fury from the mind of Jay Veegee
One-shot from the files.
Faust: a Primer
Created for the program of Man of Infinite Desire

Produces Interesting Theater. Such as...
Tiny Ninja Theater
No Small Parts. Only Small Actors.
Hudson Valley Playreading Series
"Buddy" Cianci: The Musical
Rhode Island's most popular politician, six times elected, twice convicted

Book of Ages
"Exploring life's landmark ages in hilariously obsessive detail."
buy 30 | buy 40
buy Japanese 40
German 40 (unavailable)

Minor & Incomplete

The ANTAGONISTIC magazine.
Survivor Deadpool
Deadpool Dead.
A great idea!
Unpalatable Ball
Featuring the Discontented Elf.

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