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THE WEBLOG ARCHIVES: April 2004
April 29, 2004
Upcoming Events | 03:56 PM
An email forwarded by JVG.com's favorite burlesque artist reveals a shocking fact about the month of May, and news about an opportunity for YOU to appear upcoming HBO show, which will film the celebration of the Month sponsored by a well-regarded Lower East Side sextablishment:
"Masturbation May 2004Well, people? Get talking. Or whatever.
aeu comments: "I thought I was your favorite burlesque artist!"
April 26, 2004
Objections to The L Word | 01:52 PM
A small Australian Christian organization has lobbied advertisers to withdraw support from the Showtime drama "The L Word," objecting to scenes of "self-insemination," in which the characters, well, self-inseminate with donor sperm.
The main problem, as described by the Aussies, is that the lesbians are "bringing children into the world who haven't got fathers."
Xina observes: "Like... umm... JESUS?"
aeu comments: "That's pretty freakin' funny"
The Perfect Sentence #25 | 12:44 AM
Being an attempt to craft The Perfect Sentence
Recently, some have complained about the lack of attempts to craft the perfect sentence; others have not.
jba comments: "Please, let's settle this, once and for all. It's time to vote!"
wvg comments: "Complaints, if they existed, did not originate in this quarter. The complainers must be silenced, and this futile quest abandoned."
Tokyo Sexwale comments: "I've enjoyed many of the 'Perfect Sentence' attempts; however, I can't help but wonder whether the greatest joy is to be found in the attempt, rather than the result. Also. The Perfect Sentence #0 (I will be posting attempts here for your perusal; feel free to leave your impressions.) is actually one of my favorites so far. It's simple, error-free, and it means something. It contains a fair amount of concinnity without over-reaching or being too obvious. A winner?"
Tokyo Sexwale comments: "Oh, one more thing. An entry, via IM: I am less odd, no? ..."
April 23, 2004
David Beckham, I feel your pain | 11:25 PM
God, how many times have adult TV channels paid my ex-girlfriends $442,000 to recreate with a lookalike a night of sex they allegedly had with me?
neilfred comments: "Ooh, hey, do I still count as your lookalike? Let's see, who are your ex-girlfriends? Hm..."
April 22, 2004
Election Day is coming | 07:31 PM
Show plugging time again:
Plus, as promised, details about a free reading of a show about the wacky misadventures of a corrupt politician...
"Finally, a political musical comedy for the people! Take a break from the current political scene and watch Democrat and womanizer President Elliot Goodrich run for re-election against the charismatic but dim Wyoming Governor Nathan Burke."
Tuesday, April 27th and Wednesday April 28th @ 7:00pm
Free admission, 2 drink minimum.
April 21, 2004
Thanks for the home run, Emil. | 04:21 PM
One of my favorite famous author friends has moved back to Minnesota and started a blog about the "Twins," which is apparently a base-ball team. Today's update includes a lego-based reenactment of last night's game... (Spacemen=Twins, Knights=Tigers)
"The pitcher scrambles for the ball, while Punto runs to first and Ryan dashes for home!"
Bat-Girl.com ("Less stats, more sass.")
April 18, 2004
Andrew Snail: A Look Back | 08:45 PM
AN INTERESTING HISTORICAL NOTE: In an unexpected nomenclatural happenstance similar to that of a certain iconic corporate rodent (at one point called "Mortimer Mouse"), the strip's original title "The Adventures of Anderson Snail," was shortened by an overzealous copyeditor sometime in the hours before publication. And so, a legend was born.
neilfred comments: "When will the TFTEN anthology be published?"
April 16, 2004
Bucket of Blood | 12:15 AM
Certain Disaster weighs in with a story that encapsulates every critique I got while earning my Art Degree in college. My most enthusiastic crit ever came with a sculpture that I threw together a few hours earlier at Ann & Hope. At least, it was enthusiastic until I started giggling because people were taking it seriously. Then it got ugly.
Certain Disaster's Critique Story:And it just gets better from there...
April 15, 2004
The Golden Age | 01:11 PM
It's show-plugging time here at jvg.com!
Wuthering High co-producer Cagey Productions is putting on an hour-long version of the latest Golden Age show, EXIT! STAGE LEFT! The Golden Age has been getting accolades from all the most quotable publications (The New York Times: "THE GOLDEN AGE, a vaudeville group, brings fresh interpretations of a classic comedic style to this family show. A glance through the rear-view mirror." Backstage: "...A madcap, hilarious hour of non-stop comedy." The New Yorker: "Good old-fashioned comedy has returned to Times Square.") and now Cagey is going to let you see excerpts from their new show for free.
That's right, dammit, I said "free." Two Mondays only.
Six Vaudevillian Actors. Five Bouncy songs. Four Desperate Acts. Three Deadly Weapons. Two Slamming Doors. One Crate of Dynamite.
Don't miss it, or next time you may have to pay.
Coming next week: an invitation to a sneak preview of a new musical about the wacky misadventures of a corrupt politician...
April 11, 2004
Tiny Kinja Theater | 01:35 PM
Well, if you ask me, "Kinja" may well be the next "IRC chat!" I am now able to track with near-pinpoint accuracy updates to all of the most important sites on the web!
My digest demonstrates, surely, the epitome of what Kinja was designed for. It is, without a doubt, the high water mark of Kinja digests, and will likely remain so for years to come. Sadly, this may quickly put Kinja out of business, as it is doubtful that anyone but a few sad mistanthropes and loonies will want to waste valuable time creating their own digest when mine is available for the public use. (I offer this boon without charge, out of the goodness of my heart.)
April 05, 2004
Strip Reminders | 03:08 AM
Don't forget: this being Monday, there's a brand-new old Andrew Snail strip at the bottom of the page.
April 04, 2004
The Perfect Sentence #24 | 12:00 AM
He had the grace of a gazelle, and the body of a gazelle; he was, in point of fact, a gazelle.
neilfred comments: "I just found out that gazelles are within the family of antelopes. As are wildebeests and gnus. Weird. As for the sentence... Well, it's cute, but I think you'll only reach perfection when you stop trying to be clever. -neilfred"
wvg comments: "Oh my god, he was trying to be clever ?"
April 02, 2004
At long last, some sense of Decency | 01:59 PM
Broadcasters looking for a template upon which to base the suggested "decency code" need look no further than the Comics Code enacted in the 50s. In fact, were television to follow the code to the letter, the world would immediately become a better place, as it did in 1954 just moments after the code was put into effect for comics. Juvenile delinquency plummeted, grammar improved, and levelheadedness prevailed. Now, let us work together to create a television-watching world that will never again be subjected to the horror that is a woman's unclothed nipple, leaving only good, wholesome entertainment about beating the fuck out of Jesus!
EXCERPTS FROM THE COMICS CODE
April 01, 2004
Birthday Greetings | 12:58 PM
As with any person of notoriety, my birthday was marked by the creation of several works of Art, many of which were conveyed to me via email. These celebratory creations include:
A poem by a famous playwright, currently residing in England
Jon,The Confidentiality Notice to really brings a tear to the eye, don't it?
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