Jonathan Van Gieson . com
Two Snail or Not Two Snail?
by Jay Veegee


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August 31, 2004

RNC: Hey, bite my ass! | 01:59 PM

Some as-yet unlinked protest photos from Alexis, from August 27-29.

Continuing the roundup of photog friends, JCN's 8/29 photos, and Eliot's convention photos.

And, just to put things in perspective, JCN's shots of the WTC on fire, which event the Republicans are so happy to exploit in order to try to win the election. If you haven't yet read Giuliani's 2008 Campaign Speech, you should. One friend described it as "taking a big piss all over 9/11."

And here I was, naively hoping one of NY's leaders might take Bush to task for his failure to deliver the funds he promised the city in the wake of the attack. Foolish boy.

neilfred comments: "you didn't actually link to jcn's wtc shots..."

August 30, 2004

Here's to Dubya! | 02:15 PM

In celebration of the RNC and their candidate for president, a picture of Dubya that was cut from BOA: 30, showing our commander-in-chief driving intoxicated! (Based on an actual arrest!)

The Prodigal Blogger Returns | 12:32 PM

I'm back. Props to guest blogger UGNYC, who did a bangup job this past week!

August 21, 2004

Guest Blogger | 12:00 AM

Hey, if Curbed can do it, so can we: we're off for a week, but antagonist "The Unhappiest Girl in NYC" may take over blogging duties. Then again, she may not. Depends on what kind of mood she's in.

August 20, 2004

Wherefore art thou, Ninja? | 09:28 AM

This weekend and weekends to come, 4Panel produced happenings upstate and down:

Tiny Ninja Theater presents ROMEO & JULIET at Woodstock Fringe. And while you're at the 'Stock Fringe, be sure to catch The Days Are as Grass starring, of all people, my mom!

Now it can be told!
The next Tiny Ninja Theater production will be Tiny Ninja Theater presents HAMLET premiering October 28 at P.S. 122

And the next TheaterSounds reading will be: Saturday, September 11 @ 8pm
by Jeanne Michels and Phyllis Murphy
with Watson Heintz and Arlene Sterne
directed by Nicola Sheara

Attend, philistines!

August 19, 2004

Last Chance Café | 02:12 AM

This is it; tonight at 7pm, your last (perhaps very last ever) chance to see MAN OF INFINITE DESIRE, as part of THE HELL FESTIVAL at The Brick in Williamsburg.

What? You say you're too cool to come to Brooklyn? Friend, you don't know what "cool" is. But I'll tell you one thing; it ain't the HELL FEST. Because the HELL FEST is HOT. So get your hipster asses on the L train and QUIT YOUR GODDAMN WHINING.

I apologize. I love you all. I really do. Especially you, there. With the glasses. You're cute. Hey, what are you doing tonight? Nothing? Well, then, COME TO THE SHOW.

Afterwards, we can make passionate love in a dumpster.

575 Metropolitan Ave in Williamsburgh, Brooklyn
G to Metropolitan Ave or L to Lorimer

August 16, 2004

Ohhh! A Contest! | 03:05 PM

Who wants to play "What's wrong with today's panel?" Entries may be left in the comments. Contest will end when I upload the corrected panel, this time tomorrow.

UPDATE (8/17): Lebowitz wins! He found the correct error! (See comments, link above.) As a reward, I will link to his guest episode of JVG: The Comic Strip. Our good friend "duh" also made a point which has been corrected; blame the real Tim for that blunder.

As for the nose, neilfred, it is obvious that the second panel is a 7/8 view, and not a 3/4 view. And, as anyone who knows me knows, when I am in 7/8 view, my nose appears in deep perspective, like the prow of a mighty ship. A mighty, mighty ship.

neilfred comments: "Nose too small?"

Duh comments: "The two most famous players on the Yankees are in fact from the Metro Area. Arod is from NYC and Jeter is from North Jersey originally."

JVG comments: "Well, Jersey doesn't count. Plus, he grew up in Kalamazoo. But there's still another error to go!"

lebowitz comments: "As neilfried said, the nose shrinks in the second panel from its elongated size in the first, even though the character's face is basically in the same 3/4 view as in the first panel. Also, the "NY" insignia on Tim's cap is a little off: The intersection points of the branches of the "Y" should directly intersect the slant of "N". On Tim's hat, that intersection point is about a pixel or two above the "N" [see for the precise "NY" logo]. Thirdly, the Jon character is missing a right eyebrow, while his friend Tim has two intact eyebrows. Finally, there don't seem to be any "NINAs" anywhere. Maybe you could hide one in the new eyebrow. "

wvg comments: "Of course, Jersey doesn't count. Typical, typical, discount anything that doesn't prove your theory. What are you a Republican ?"

JVG comments: "Of course. It's how I was raised."

neilfred comments: "Wait, so what was the answer you had in mind? The eyebrow?"

wvg comments: "A heinous response. And you don't know nothing about baseball."

lebowitz comments: "Thanks for the link, but I think my prize should be that I get to draw another guest strip! Whaddya say? "

JVG comments: ""The missing eyebrow" was the correct answer."

JVG comments: "And to you, Lebowitz, I say: someday! But why not do your own strip, Bronxy?"

August 11, 2004

Report from the Field #7: Third Watch Filming | 11:59 PM

11:54pm: Arrive home to find my street lit with floodlights, the largest perched atop the aforementioned Manlift. The scene illuminated: a cop slams a black teenager into the door of an unmarked car in the driveway of the Arrow Linen Corp.

Upstairs, the floods also pour into my living room. The scene illuminated: my cats. Dinner is late, and they're pissed.

I say again: this looks to be an exciting 44 minutes of television.

neilfred comments: "Your cats are going to be on TV? I'll tune in for that! Especially if they're pissed."

ellen comments: "i live on prospect near ppw and got home at 11ish... they were filming right outside my door, floodlights etc. i was very out of it, but pulled myself together enough to notice bits and pieces of what they were filming: * a car drives down the street * a car drives down in the opposite direction, stops short, reverses and curves into the sidewalk - it's coming after a black guy running down the sidewalk * the black guy falls/dives over the car i asked the PA i was standing next to what it was and he replied "a travesty" - i agreed with him after i saw the car dive. then i was escorted to my apt, where i could hear tire squeals and broken glass for the next few hours. "

wvg comments: "I thought you were watching baseball."

Report from the Field #6: Third Watch Filming | 04:50 PM

4:43pm: Men have been lifted! On to a buliding across the way — perhaps to film an exciting cross-rooftop chase scene? Only time will tell.

Report from the Field #5: Third Watch Filming | 10:29 AM

Day 2, 10:18am: A "Manlift" has been parked across the street! I think it safe to say that, in due time, men will be lifted.

August 10, 2004

Report from the Field #4: Third Watch Filming | 10:53 PM

5:47pm: As I leave for a meeting with Josh and Lock to put the finishing touches on The Big 40! (a.k.a. Book of Ages 40) they are still filming outside the bagel shop. The lights of the police car are now flashing.

10:28pm: I return home to find both sides of my street blocked off with orange cones. Perhaps tomorrow is the big day; Third Watch leaves the bagel store!

Report from the Field #3: Third Watch Filming | 12:15 PM

12:13pm: The fire truck parked across the street from me appears to contain actual firemen, not actors.

neilfred comments: "How can you tell?"

Report from the Field #2: Third Watch Filming | 09:48 AM

9:33am: I walk Xina to the subway to swipe her in with my unlimited MetroCard. (With Subway fares going up again, we must learn to economize!) PAs are yelling at people for parking at the meters. Can they do so politely? They can not. Even their "please" has a nasty edge. Xina observes: "Give a nobody a headset, and look what happens."

We stop in to buy a bagel as they film the scene where the cops drive down the street to park in front of the bagel shop. This looks to be an exciting 44 minutes of television!

Report from the Field: Third Watch Filming | 09:11 AM

You know, until they put up signs a few days back telling me I couldn't park on my street today, I had no idea Third Watch was still on the air.

But here they are, filming around the corner, and so I feel I must bring up as many updates from the field as seem warranted. So:

8:55am: I walk to the grocery store to get yogurt. Third Watch is filming cops sitting outside our local bagel shop. Who knew TV could be so true to life?

August 09, 2004

Lessons learned this weekend | 06:30 PM

30: not the age to start doing keg stands.

avr comments: "I completely disagree. In fact I plan on doing all of my drinking upside from now on. Why didn't I pledge a frat?"

Andrew Snail Updated | 10:40 AM

This week's exciting episode: The Snail Who Came In from the Cold

August 02, 2004

100 Strips! | 12:44 PM

Beginning this very moment (with today's panel and a panel slated to appear yesterday) The 100th Episode of JVG: The Comic Strip, featuring ***everyone who has ever wanted to be in the strip*** especially the people who have asked the most often! This, good friends, is your reward.

lebowitz comments: "Where am I, Van Gieson?"

JVG comments: "Last panel. Don't you see yourself?"

lebowitz comments: "Oh yeah, the guy on the left...sorry I missed it. "

wvg comments: "You could have put neilfred in. That was just insensitive."

JVG comments: "Sharp-eyed observers will note that he was actually subbing in for me the entire strip."

August 01, 2004

Andrew Snail Updated | 02:59 PM

This week's exciting episode: A. Snail for All Seasons

The story so far... | 12:35 PM

A brief Faust primer created for the back of the Man of Infinite Desire program. Colorized for your online enjoyment. Now that you've seen the primer, go to hell!
(The Hell Festival, that is, at which MOID has four performances left:
8/5 @ 7pm, 8/9 @ 8:30pm, 8/14 @ 3pm, 8/19 @ 7pm.)


aeu comments: "This is awesome."

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Fine Burlesque Entertainments
Nasty Canasta
Official Burlesque Artist of, cheese queen of Coney Island
Jonny Porkpie
Nasty puppeteer and Burlesque Mayor of New York City.


Tales from the Established Norm
The post-college episodes of the strip from college.
One strip. One thousand endings.

Fred, The Obnoxious Goldfish
An angry slice of piscine fury from the mind of Jay Veegee
One-shot from the files.
Faust: a Primer
Created for the program of Man of Infinite Desire

Produces Interesting Theater. Such as...
Tiny Ninja Theater
No Small Parts. Only Small Actors.
Hudson Valley Playreading Series
"Buddy" Cianci: The Musical
Rhode Island's most popular politician, six times elected, twice convicted

Book of Ages
"Exploring life's landmark ages in hilariously obsessive detail."
buy 30 | buy 40
buy Japanese 40
German 40 (unavailable)

Minor & Incomplete

The ANTAGONISTIC magazine.
Survivor Deadpool
Deadpool Dead.
A great idea!
Unpalatable Ball
Featuring the Discontented Elf.

I Know Them All
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