Why, it's the beginning of a brand new JVG: the comic strip today! And, unsurprisingly, it's a strip about the lack of strips! How gloriously "metro!"

In equally strange news, a new Andrew Snail adventure arrives bang on schedule: Andrew Snail Should Switch to Decaf!

Basing a news report on forged documents? SHOCKING! Why, the only thing that could be worse would be to base a war on obviously forged documents!

Confidential to CBS: Instead of apologizing, why not just claim that the news report was "a success," and let it go at that?

This week's exciting Andrew Snail adventure: Andrew Snail On a Trampoline!

After an inexplicable and protracted absence, ANDREW SNAIL returns to the stage with Episode 21: Nothing Can Stop Andrew Snail

The lovely and talented ROBERT F. LEBOWITZ, of the Bronx, will be filling in on the comic strip for the next 8 days. Please welcome him with open arms, and treat him no worse than you would me.

Details about Tiny Ninja Theater's upcoming WORLD PREMIERE production of Hamlet... The first brand-new mainstage Tiny Ninja show since October 2002!

TINY NINJA THEATER presents HAMLET
Shakespeare's classic tale of madness and revenge performed by inch-high plastic ninjas and other dime-store figures.

October 28-November 21
Thursday - Saturday at 7:30pm, Sunday at 3pm
Post-show reception, October 28

at P.S. 122
151 First Ave at E. 9th Street

$15
BUY TICKETS
Online via TicketWeb
or at the Box Office (Tues-Sat 2pm-showtime, Sun 4pm-showtime): 151 1st Ave
or by phone (Tues-Sat 2-6pm, Sunday 4-6pm):
212-477-5288

As usual, seating is limited, so buy tickets early and often.

"Once you've seen its Romeo & Juliet, you'll want to come to back for figurine versions of Hamlet or Othello or whatever else." —The Washington Post

made possible in part by a grant from The Henson Foundation
co-produced by 4Panel Productions

Is the Loews Cineplex 34th Street (right across the street from MSG) making a statement with its movie lineup? Among the 12 movies now playing, many have political implications.

Some are obvious:
• The Manchurian Candidate
• Vanity Fair
• Collateral

Some less so:
• Alien vs. Predator (Tagline: "Whoever wins, we lose!")
• Open Water (Plot: Republican sharks circle around two unsuspecting democrat divers, lost in a sea of political lies)
• Exorcist: The Beginning (Plot: If it's anything like the first one, it involves a priest (Kerry) trying to drive a malignant spirit (Bush) out of a young girl (The White House)

And some only work if the full title is revealed:
• [It Takes] The Village
• [I] Suspect [Bush has a] Zero [I.Q.]

Or am I reading too much into it?

As a public service to those who missed Rudy's speech, I've put up an entire strip today, with both quotes direct from the address, PLUS a bit of text I'm SURE must have been cut from an earlier draft.

That is, if the ex-mayor has any sense of decency.