THE WEBLOG ARCHIVE: Inbox
February 13, 2006
Garfield: Now with the Funny | 04:57 PM
December 28, 2005
Where's My Stuff: Epilogue | 11:50 AM
Apparently, some customers are getting so frustrated with Amazon, they have lost the ability to distinguish between that company's website and jvg.com; "Longnails61" writes:
From: "Long n/a"
For the record: I am, in fact, neither the Amazon nor the Azamon customer service department. Any rumors to the contrary are vicious, vicious lies. I am simply the composer of a heartwarming holiday poem which makes mention of said company. Also, my religious beliefs prevent me from doing anything "a pomplely". However, another jvg.com correspondent may be able to help. Smelly Big Head writes:
Clement Moore couldn't have done better.Be sure to keep us informed about your progress, LongNails61, because nothing is more interesting than updates about a missing package from Amazon.com.
August 15, 2005
Incredibles String Cheese: Do Not Buy | 03:00 PM
From the inbox: "Another reason to sulk. I worshipped the Incredibles, so I bought Incredibles string cheese (which incidently is the worst string cheese ever, don't get it) and they give you stupid info about the characters. About most of them it says basically nothing, but it notes Elastigirl is 5' 8" and weighs 125 pounds. What!? First of all, it doesn't give bodily stats on anyone else, second, excuse me? With that booty? She weighs about what I weigh and is 4 inches taller? Give me a break!!!!!!!!! Apparently she's modeled on Jessica Alba?"
She is, after all, elastic. Perhaps she's, uh, stretching the statistics a bit...
July 12, 2005
Introspection, spam-style | 11:55 PM
A spam from 'Brutmar.com,' attempting to sell me "Iogo" design services, offers this helpful observation:
"Contemporary rhythm of life is too dynamic."
"ABSTRACTPseudo-science: yum-licious good.
(For those checking in: 5 pages left before bedtime. Well: first cherry soda, then bedtime.)
February 02, 2005
LeafHocker | 05:13 PM
June 01, 2004
Atlantic Yards: The Glossy Trifold | 06:13 PM
Atlantic Yards, the new "basketball arena/half-empty office towers/slum" slated to replace 23% of Brooklyn, should be vociferously objected to, if only in response to the exorbitant amount of money they just spent to send out seemingly to every resident of the borough a full-color glossy trifold, complete with pre-millennium-era Microsoft Office-inspired logo and multi-racial stock photos. The flier appears to be an attempt to bribe people to support the
The opposition, on the other hand, has not the funds to send out their own glossy trifold, nor even frame a coherent mission statement in the online petition. Who will win this battle of affluent real estate developer versus impecunious longtime residents? Only time will tell.
Standing Up Against Ratner's Brooklyn Real Estate Deal [Fair Development Brooklyn] & FAQ
aeu comments: "Nothing offends JVG more than a bad logo."
April 01, 2004
Birthday Greetings | 12:58 PM
As with any person of notoriety, my birthday was marked by the creation of several works of Art, many of which were conveyed to me via email. These celebratory creations include:
A poem by a famous playwright, currently residing in England
Jon,The Confidentiality Notice to really brings a tear to the eye, don't it?
December 17, 2003
Email Update | 03:47 PM
To anyone who has emailed me through the website in the past few months, please don't think I did not respond just because I'm famous and you're not. In fact, I just discovered that I had not set up the forwarder for the web address, and so only received your emails today.
To which I will not be responding, because I'm famous and you're not.
October 24, 2003
It's that personal touch that counts | 12:07 PM
I assure you I will give the issue my full consideration. It is important to hear the concerns of my constituents from the 11th Congressional District.
Again, thank you for taking time to express your views. Please continue to contact my office in the future regarding any issue.
August 05, 2003
Leech Research Blog | 11:21 AM
An old college friend writes, positing that her own personal blog might not be as engaging as some, due to her current position in the Leech Research field. If the sample entry she sent is any indication, I think she's very, very wrong.
The leech neurons today are indescribably exciting! Look at those motherf*cking spikes! It reminds me of the time I poked an aplysia buccal ganglion neuron, only to find the tonically spiking L7 was actually a burster! Can you believe it? Bursting! That's a story for the grandkids.
July 03, 2003
Friendster Meme Percolates | 01:19 AM
Danah, a PhD student at Berkley, is researching Friendster. You can tell she's a PhD student when she notes "I've really enjoyed watching the Friendster meme percolate," because who else would have the unmitigated gall to suggest that a meme can percolate, rather than simply brew?
She has a list of questions on her Friendster research page, that even if you don't feel like sharing with her may be worth considering for your own sake.
Full disclosure: Danah is a mere one Friendster step away from me, in three different directions. She also has a blog on which she discourses frequently about vaginae.
June 14, 2003
"Beauty" | 05:02 PM
"I'm not jumping off a bridge after all -- this reminded me that life is worth living:
June 04, 2003
Friendster Power Games | 03:25 PM
Friendster, in their "weekly email," posits the following query:
>*** WANT TO BE FAMOUS?Silly Friendster. Perhaps you should have read my profile before bothering me with such foolish inquiries.
Speaking of Friendster, after a couple of weeks of playing around with the service, I've discovered what it's best for: toying with the delicate psyches of your friends and acquaintances. Ah, the bitter joy. Ah, the delicious power.
Top Friendster Power Games:
The Delayed Approval
The Unreciprocated Testimonial
The Mexican Standoff
May 20, 2003
Hotspots | 09:34 AM
Responding to rumor control, Wiley's Dawg submits this report on current gay hotspots.
"silly boy, the backroom at urge closed ages ago... hotspots tend to be different each night of the week. last night, for example, i went to 'park' which is the hottest gay bar for a sunday. the slide is the newest. the cock is the sleaziest. b-bar on tuesdays (beige) is still pretty trendy for the upscale fashion-loving people-spotting gays.
wow. i need to stop going out so much."
UPDATE: Aaron writes "Wiley's Dawg knows nothing! Therapy in Hell's Kitchen is *the* It-spot for trendy, good-looking gay boys, although it just opened, so he probably hasn't heard of it."
DAWG BITES BACK: He writes:
'Then they started 'Queer Factor' with Danny Pantaro...and I couldn't take it...so I left...didn't even get a drink so I don't even know if it's expensive or not...'
hmmm. Danny Pantaro. doesn't sound trendy or cool to me..."
May 13, 2003
Expenses You Cannot Deduct | 11:22 PM
Apropos "Buddy", Wiley's Dawg sends in this scan from his tax instruction book:
April 15, 2003
JVG Inbox | 11:32 AM
One reader takes issue with perceived "New Jersey Bashing" in this space:
February 03, 2003
JVG Outbox | 05:03 PM
Be warned: I seem to be using the word "folks" far too much in today's outgoing email.
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