THE WEBLOG ARCHIVE: NYC
September 20, 2006
Open Letter to the Conductor | 09:21 PM
Dear Conductor of the F Train that stopped at 15th Street/Prospect Park at about 9:15pm on Wednesday, September 20th, 2006,
Sir- the cameras that are installed in the 15th Street/Propect Park station, monitors placed so they are visible from the conductor's window, are there for a reason. If, for instance, you look in a screen, and see four people gathered around a baby carriage at the threshold of a door, you might venture to guess that there was something going on. For instance, the wheels of the baby carriage could well be caught in the gap between the car and the platform.
For future reference, helpful behavior on your part in this situation probably does not include: 1. Attempting to close the doors several times, further terrorizing the already-scared sister of the baby in the carriage, and 2. Announcing over the loudspeaker that we should "stand clear of the closing doors." For my part, I was not planning to stand clear of the closing doors until I was at least 75% sure that you would not kill a child as you pulled out of the station.
Jonathan Van Gieson
September 01, 2004
Public Service | 01:49 AM
As a public service to those who missed Rudy's speech, I've put up an entire strip today, with both quotes direct from the address, PLUS a bit of text I'm SURE must have been cut from an earlier draft.
That is, if the ex-mayor has any sense of decency.
gretchen comments: ""that week we thought giuliani wasn't an ass" -- perfect! I forgot that that's precisely how it felt. well done."
August 31, 2004
RNC: Hey, bite my ass! | 01:59 PM
Some as-yet unlinked protest photos from Alexis, from August 27-29.
And, just to put things in perspective, JCN's shots of the WTC on fire, which event the Republicans are so happy to exploit in order to try to win the election. If you haven't yet read Giuliani's 2008 Campaign Speech, you should. One friend described it as "taking a big piss all over 9/11."
And here I was, naively hoping one of NY's leaders might take Bush to task for his failure to deliver the funds he promised the city in the wake of the attack. Foolish boy.
neilfred comments: "you didn't actually link to jcn's wtc shots..."
June 01, 2004
JVG.com gets Nasty | 04:06 PM
With Burlesque popping up in all the local mags, the time has come for JVG.com to name our favorite Burlesque performer.
And that performer is... NASTY CANASTA*.
"Fine burlesque entertainments with just a splash of zesty, delicious nastiness." You haven't heard Nirvana until you've seen Nasty do an act called Remote Control... during a recent performance, one member of the audience enthused "You're doing Kurt justice, baby!"
She's appearing this Friday at CB's Gallery with Slutty Puppets.
* JVG.com does not aver, assert, affirm of infer that this choice is in any way, shape, or form, unbiased.
April 22, 2004
Election Day is coming | 07:31 PM
Show plugging time again:
Plus, as promised, details about a free reading of a show about the wacky misadventures of a corrupt politician...
"Finally, a political musical comedy for the people! Take a break from the current political scene and watch Democrat and womanizer President Elliot Goodrich run for re-election against the charismatic but dim Wyoming Governor Nathan Burke."
Tuesday, April 27th and Wednesday April 28th @ 7:00pm
Free admission, 2 drink minimum.
November 13, 2003
DUMBO: Make it Art-free! | 01:45 PM
The New York Post [via Gothamist] reports that "city officials have instituted a rare neighborhood-wide production moratorium," banning all filming in D.U.M.B.O. to maintain quality of life for the residents.
This measure comes as no surprise; DUMBO has already expunged the moneyless artists, why not move on to the moneyed pseudo-artists? In fact, I would like to suggest that this "moratorium" does not go far enough.
I call on the mayor's office to officially designate DUMBO an "Art-Free Zone", allowing the newest crop of residents to live their investment-banking lives untroubled by the bothersome physical evidence of independent thought. Let DUMBO — as the Lower East Side now is — be unstained by the embarrassing enigma of galleries and theaters, the stumbling and intrusive introspections of the creative. Let there be Prada, not art, under the bridge! The future is ABC, not DTX. Is it not time for DUMBO, like Soho before it, turn its eye towards that most American, that most patriotic of all Arts, the Art of Shopping?
And what of the artists? Worry not, they shall still have their place. It is their lot to continue moving outward, a ragtag band of brave explorers, advance scouts for the pulsing waves of gentrification. And, when the last corporate stragglers finally settle into their Coney Island ocean-view condos built on the ruins of Sideshows by the Seashore, we shall have driven all the artists into the sea, never to return.
June 10, 2003
Simpsons Fans Take Note | 03:00 PM
My sources have revealed that Yeardley Smith, the voice of Lisa Simpson, is developing a show called The Good Life, which—if my insider info is accurate—will include juicy Hollywood gossip, sordid personal secrets, and the story of her bathroom-tiling stalker. Apparently, they're doing a work-in-progress sneak-preview reading over at Joe's Pub this Friday.
• Reading of The Good Life by Yeardley Smith, at Joe's Pub. Friday, June 13th @ 7:00pm. Twelve bucks.
May 22, 2003
No Ass O'Barkeep Gets a Cel Phone | 01:10 AM
And thereby calls at 1:05am to submit this report:
"Blue Ribbon is painfully overpriced and the service sucks."
May 20, 2003
Hotspots | 09:34 AM
Responding to rumor control, Wiley's Dawg submits this report on current gay hotspots.
"silly boy, the backroom at urge closed ages ago... hotspots tend to be different each night of the week. last night, for example, i went to 'park' which is the hottest gay bar for a sunday. the slide is the newest. the cock is the sleaziest. b-bar on tuesdays (beige) is still pretty trendy for the upscale fashion-loving people-spotting gays.
wow. i need to stop going out so much."
UPDATE: Aaron writes "Wiley's Dawg knows nothing! Therapy in Hell's Kitchen is *the* It-spot for trendy, good-looking gay boys, although it just opened, so he probably hasn't heard of it."
DAWG BITES BACK: He writes:
'Then they started 'Queer Factor' with Danny Pantaro...and I couldn't take it...so I left...didn't even get a drink so I don't even know if it's expensive or not...'
hmmm. Danny Pantaro. doesn't sound trendy or cool to me..."
May 09, 2003
More Theatrical Gallivants | 06:26 PM
May I recommend the vaudevillian antics of The Golden Age in their newest show Is There A Doctor in the House? I caught opening night on Wednesday at the Metropolitan Playhouse, which delivered a cavalcade of great bits stolen from the "era of lunatic virtuosity." In fact, I stole many of the same bits — including the classic line "A girl backed into an airplane propeller: disaster" — for my junior year playwriting effort, Burlesque, written at the tender age of 20. The Golden Age does it much better than I did, but then again, I only wrote the damn thing to meet girls. Is There a Doctor in the House? runs through May 17th. More info here.
April 26, 2003
Review: The New York Auto Show | 07:37 PM
What could be more boring?
April 20, 2003
Xina Discovers The True Meaning of Easter | 01:44 AM
April 14, 2003
The Best Of Gawker | 12:02 PM
Congratulations to Gawker, which celebrates its four-month anniversary this week. Since December, Elizabeth and Nick have obsessively brought us everything we ever needed to know about things we never needed to know anything about. From the incessant Tina Brown coverage to the "no J-Lo" policy (a custom more honored in the breach than in the observance), Gawker is, by my accounts, a winner.
March 30, 2003
Below 14th: The Oversights | 09:53 AM
One of Lock's more heinous crimes against humanity is his ignorance of a defining part of Lower East Side culture: The rapidly-diminishing theater scene. Though wide-eyed new arrivals thrill to think they're breaking new ground when they move into the neighborhood, this letter from a founder of Surf Reality — which is closing its doors after 10 years following a police raid for "operating a speakeasy" and a rent raise — makes it clear who the real trailblazers were:
March 24, 2003
Protest Sign Awards | 01:44 PM
I think we can all agree that the most important thing about any political debate is not who's right or wrong, but who has the best signage. With that in mind, I am pleased to present the jvg.com Protest Sign Awards for March 22-23, 2003:
March 04, 2003
More Wisdom from O'Barkeep | 12:11 AM
No Ass O'Barkeep (who holds forth on the subject of "gender bending cocktails" in this month's Elle Magazine) debunks another smoking ban workaround: Bar owners planning to collect money from smokers to cover the fines may find that the cost is higher than they think.
February 26, 2003
Another Post-Ban Alternative | 07:29 PM
For those still upset about the NYC bar smoking ban, might I suggest the smoking lounge at the Atlanta airport? It has everything people say they'll miss about the pre-ban NYC bar atmosphere — a small, enclosed, room with a cancerous cloud hanging just above the heads of desperate, addicted people, huddled around overflowing ashtrays, clutching limp cigarettes in their trembling, sweaty hands — without any annoying alcohol to get in the way of your smoking enjoyment.
February 18, 2003
Wear Something Neutral | 10:50 AM
Well, the Swedes may have to go to New Jersey to get some lingonberry action, but if the pamphlet I just got in the mail is any indication, the Swiss have got it made right here in NYC. The swisspeaks festival hits town on Feb 27, and it looks to be a rockin' good time. Planning to attend? Fashion tip: Wear something neutral. (with a tip o' the porkpie to Mssr. Mike Saenz.)
January 14, 2003
Move over, MOMA | 01:49 AM
If anyone wants to prove me wrong and book Ninja McFatty's new sculpture series "American Bonsai" – constructed entirely of semi-melted beverage straws and overturned drink coasters – into a Manhattan art gallery, go right ahead. I have to warn you, though: some of the more delicate pieces were destroyed by high winds on the way from the bar to the subway.
January 06, 2003
Brooklyn Update: BoCoCa | 03:18 PM
For the record, I fully support the efforts of the fine folks who are fighting an uphill battle to rename the Boerum Hill/Cobble Hill/Carrol Gardens section of Brooklyn "BoCoCa." The concept is simple: take three semi-fashionable neighborhoods with indeterminate boundaries and consolidate them into one über-chic mega-district with an amalgam name.
December 18, 2002
Below North 14th | 12:43 AM
Just got back from an evening on the town at Galapagos, a rather unique little pub on North 6th Street in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn. The main feature of this watering hole: water. The front of the bar area has been flooded, perhaps with brackish stagnant stink-water from the nearby East River. The New York Times describes this as 'a truly sublime reflecting pool.'
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