Ah, how long has it been since this web presence has been active? To make up for it, jvg.com presents to you an entire novel for your reading pleasure...

Jonny Porkpie's Lurid Pulp novel "The Corpse Wore Pasties", available 11/24/09 from Hard Case Crime. The first reviews are already in:

Publishers Weekly: "The self-styled burlesque mayor of New York City makes himself the hero of his entertaining hard-boiled debut... Much of the fun lies in Porkpie's witty and telling observations of life in the raunchy burlesque world, and the tone is more playful than pornographic despite plentiful references to sexual activity. Readers will enjoy the twists and action and hope for future Porkpie investigations." Full review.

Booklist says "Porkpie's style is diligently tongue in cheek, and it works. Fans of hard-boiled crime will enjoy this romp, and in an increasingly coarse popular culture, the inside look at burlesque seems, well, almost wholesome." Full review.

Library Journal says"The rapport required on stage transfers effortlessly to the page in this debut mystery...Don’t give up your night job, Jonny; it’s too good of a backdrop for the sequels that will surely come to nestle comfortably between Gypsy Rose Lee’s classic 1941 The G-string Murders and Kinky Friedman’s mysteries." Full Review

Vince Keenan, who won an advance copy, writes on his blog: "It's a lark, and a fun one, with Mr. Porkpie getting into and out of silly, sexy trouble. But not too sexy; Mr. Porkpie is happily married to burlesque performer Nasty Canasta - one of the cover models, FYI - and their relationship is the best thing in the book." Full review.

Pinchbottom's LURID PULP, a combination Book Release party/interactive murder mystery/theatrical extravaganza starring Nasty Canasta, Clams Casino, Dirty Martini, Gigi La Femme, Jo Boobs, Madame Rosebud -- as well as the author himself -- will premiere Saturday November 21 @ 8:00pm at 45 Bleecker in Manhattan. Encore presentation Saturday November 28 @ 8:00pm.

"I just saw THE DARK KNIGHT. What the hell was that all about?"

What could be more boring?

Congratulations to Gawker, which celebrates its four-month anniversary this week. Since December, Elizabeth and Nick have obsessively brought us everything we ever needed to know about things we never needed to know anything about. From the incessant Tina Brown coverage to the "no J-Lo" policy (a custom more honored in the breach than in the observance), Gawker is, by my accounts, a winner.

In honor if this quarter-year milestone, I've compiled a list of Gawker posts that, in my unbiased and carefully considered opinion, represent the blog at its best.

THE BEST OF GAWKER: The First 120 Days

BEST ENTERTAINMENT NEWS: JVG's Saturday Night Gawker's celebrity nightlife coverage kicks off on a high note.
RUNNER UP: Celebrity Tracking

BEST ORIGINAL REPORTAGE: Scene from last night's Gawker party: Jonathan Van Gieson A fair and accurate account of the event.
RUNNER UP: Smoking ban workarounds

BEST NON-MANHATTAN NEWS: New Neighborhood Acronyms Gawker was the first publication to jump on the "SloWiTe" bandwagon.
RUNNER UP: New Jersey

BEST WAR COVERAGE: The Lockhart Steele Resolution Unlike less responsible media outlets, Gawker covered the Van Gieson/Steele conflict from the very beginning.
RUNNER UP: JVG covering for Lockhart Steele The very beginning.

I think we can all agree that the most important thing about any political debate is not who's right or wrong, but who has the best signage. With that in mind, I am pleased to present the jvg.com Protest Sign Awards for March 22-23, 2003:

MOST CONSONANT | Winner: Anti
"Bush: Don't bag Baghdad for your bad dad."
Go ahead, say it three times fast.

MOST GENITAL | Winner: Anti
"Don't follow that Bush, find your own."
Poses the question: Which is better, war on Iraq, or women masturbating? Where's the polling data on that, CNN?

MOST MUSICAL | Winner: Anti
"Brahms not Bombs."
I suppose the opposite position would be "Bach not Iraq".

MOST UNDERREPRESENTED | Winner: Anti
"Corporate Lawyers Against War"
One guy in a suit. The Daily News was interviewing him.

MOST STRAIGHTFORWARD | Winner: Anti
"Bush is a fucking idiot."
The best the pro-Bush folks could come up with to counter was "Bush is NOT a fucking idiot."

MOST EDUCATIONAL | Winner: Pro
"Iraq is French for Hollywood."
See, I didn't know that, because I never studied French.

MOST ROMANTIC | Winner: Pro
"Saddam and Bin Laden Love War Protesters."
Remind me to make this one into a bumper sticker and put it on my SUV.

FIGHT THE REAL ENEMY AWARD | Winner: Pro
"$ for Freedom, Not the Board of Ed!"
This on the heels of the announcement that the administration will be holding a nationwide bake sale to buy bombers.

(Gathered by jvg.com reporters on the scene in NYC, and other news media)