In celebration of my birthday: a glance back to December 2002, when I posted these documents relating to my birth, as well as notable events on this website from birthdays past:

• Documents relating to my birth: March 31, 1974
• JVG: The Comic Strip 29th Birthday
• Blog: March 31, 2003
• JVG: The Comic Strip 10 days before 30th Birthday
• JVG: The Comic Strip 4 days before 30th Birthday
• JVG: The Comic Strip 30th Birthday
• Blog: March 31, 2004
• Fred the Obnoxious Goldfish Birthday Strip
• Intinerary: March 31, 2005 Birthday Plans
• Blog: March 31, 2006

Let us take a moment to remember the glory times of Hide/Seek/NYC. 11 long days of sitting in the rundown offices of the now-defunct SiteSherpa, tracking three lunatics around New York City. Fugitives Jason, Zoe, and Chris, we hardly knew ye.

5 years later, the site remains somewhat amusing. But painful to the eye. What was the designer thinking? Let's tip the glass to all my fellow sadists at Command: Mike, Mike, Chris, Pam, and of course, Josh and Lock.

And, lest we forget, there was a Music Video.

"Goin' out tonight?" the teller grins at me as she counts out the sixty dollars in singles I am getting to make change at the door for Cold War Burlesque, "Have fun."

In this report, filed twenty-one years ago today, I carefully balance a number of disparate elements: news report, drawing of a castle, and math quiz. Needless to say, the effort is deemed "excellent" by the reviewers.

Notable:
• For mathematicians: a disappointment. Numbers in upper right hand corner ("2222121") show an incomplete grasp of binary.
• For researchers: a triumph! Document contains incontrovertible evidence that April 22, 1982 is the day I learned about homonyms.
• For historians: a puzzle. What is this "New York Experience" I claim to have "went to yesterday"? It seems to be some sort of museum, but a google search reveals only package tours and insipid travelogues.

Journalism: "A cloudy good morning to you." 4/22/82

An exciting discovery: this report, filed twenty-one years ago today, may just be the first journalistic effort ever by the author.

My talents as a reporter — a meticulous eye for detail ("a mildly cold good morning to you"), an unwavering devotion to accuracy ("On st Patricks day you can find four leaf clovers"), and a clever avoidance of unsubstantiated statements ("We might get our report cards") — are are already well demonstrated.

Notable:
• My editor at the time called the effort "Super Excellent." Those who have called into doubt the authenticity of this comment — based on the laughable theory that the words "super" and "excellent" are in vastly different handwriting, and the editor "Lynn" is unlikely to have referred to herself in the third person — are simply jealous of my early success.
• The elegant full color illustration. The image — a fat, unfashionable child finding a lopsided pot of gold outside his angry house — must surely stand as one of the great ironic parables of our time.
• Metajournalism, ("News Flash: Today we wrote a news flash...") a decade before "meta" entered the popular lexicon. Can this mean that, at the tender age of seven I invented meta? There is no evidence to the contrary.

Journalism: "A mildly cold good morning to you." 3/5/82

After such blazing brilliance in previous news reports, this sample, filed nineteen years ago today, is – to say the least – somewhat disappointing.

Notable:
• The mysterious: I have just, for some reason, blacked out the first entry. Is this because, even at the tender age of nine, I was a killer for the CIA?
• The confusing: "The most famous letter was in a newspaper for fifteen." What the hell could I possibly have meant? How is this newsworthy?
• The risqué: "20 years ago the Beatles came." Is this really appropriate reportage for a fourth grader?

Journalism: "Some high school kids gave up drugs" 2/7/84

In non-Lockhart news, regular jvg.com browser RhodeKill writes: "Put up more drawings on your Web site." Always happy to oblige my fans: This report, filed twenty years ago today, showcases my early breakthroughs in editorial cartooning.

Illustrations:
• Subtle and well-considered ethnic caricature
• Mischievous 'juvinile' ensconced in a bush
• Smallest midget wedding
• "Here is your food!"
• Notably missing: Michael Jackson on fire

Journalism: "The average in the U.S. watches 7 hours of TV a day" 1/30/83

Another foray into the fourth estate, this one filed nineteen years ago today. Even the most cursory of glances makes it clear that I had developed considerably as a journalist – and, indeed, as a human being – in the one year and two days since the previous report.

Notables:
• I had by this point developed my trademark "rapier" wit and incisive eye for political commentary (then-President Reagan, for instance, is cleverly dubbed a "brat head")
• Also in evidence: a keen grasp of the subtleties of constitutional law
• Ducks are coming into fashion

Journalism: Current Events 1/26/84

Like a vintage copy of the New York World, my early journalistic endeavors afford an invaluable glance into the pulse of a bygone era. This report, filed twenty years ago today, captures on paper a moment in time.

Top stories:
• In-depth analysis of early-80s copyright issues
• Scrupulously researched author profile
• Medical update: hospatial funding
• International: The latest news from Britland
• Tarzan died

Journalism: Current Events 1/24/83