(Please note: I am well aware that many of you situated in locations other than New York City and cannot attend. However, on the off chance that you happened to be in town, I thought I might invite you. So there.)
Winter returns, and with it, the holidays, including perhaps the most sacred of them all:
THE NIGHT BEFORE NEW YEARS EVE
Yes, the annual fete is back in style, but this time with not one but two amazing "events of note", brand-new for 2010!
* Event of note #1: Location, Location, Locution
For the first time ever in its 18 (or 19) year history, NBNYE will be held:
* NOT in my mothers rent-controlled 5-floor walkup! (c. 1992?-1999)
* NOT in a bar, restaurant or ritual! (2001-2005)
* NOT in the apartment of generous but ultimately regretful friends like Kim (Y2K) or Lex & Corie (2005)!
* NOT at a burlesque show, with a corresponding admission charge (2006 - winner: worst-attended year ever!)
* NOT on hiatus (2007-2008, to recover from the ill-advised 2006)
...But in MY VERY OWN HOME!
Yes, my place of residence will serve as NBNYE venue for 2010, the first party ever held in said residence. Convenient to the F train, just a few short stops away from the borough known as Manhattan. (Those who live in Queens, you're still screwed, but come anyway.)
* Event of note #2: Procreators rejoice!
Due to the recent propensity for reproduction amongst my nearest and dearest, the 2010 edition of NBNYE will include BABYTIME©! an afternoon event intended for those unwilling or unable to stay up late.To exhausted to party until the wee hours? Then bring the wee ones by for an afternoon of mulled cider and strained peas (strained peas not included.) NBNYE: Now fun for ALL ages!
But never fear: as the hour grows later, so too will the guests, and as evening rolls in, THE NIGHT BEFORE NEW YEARS EVE will enter full-swing as we party in a manner not dissimilar to the manner in which we partied when I held the event way back in 1999. Remember: if you start New Years Eve Day with a hangover, you have no where to go but up.
* Event of note #3: We'll still be getting drunk later
I realize I mentioned only two events of note originally, but I talked so much about the babies it occurred to me that it might not have been clear that the party will happen as usual in the evening hours.
THE NIGHT BEFORE NEW YEARS EVE
* DATE: Thursday, December 30, 2010
* TIME(S): @ 4:00pm: BABYTIME! for the young and young at heart. (Actually, the young at heart should probably come later. You might get on the parents' nerves. They don't get a lot of sleep, you know.)
@ 8:00pm: ADULTYTIME! NBNYE Classic, commencing at 8pm, and continuing until such time as I realize exactly why I never had a party in my own home before
* DRESS CODE (adults): As Anne once said, "We're not savages, you know."
* DRESS CODE (children): Parents must dress their children in the couture of the profession they hope the child will eventually adopt, unless that seems a little crazy. Does that seem a little crazy?
* VENUE: Chez Porc: 478 Prospect Ave #3, Brooklyn, NY 11215
F Train to 15th Street, Prospect Park West.
*** Your RSVP is most important! (So I may set aside an appropriate amount of booze/baby formula for your consumption.) RSVP to: firstname.lastname@example.org
If you received this invite via several different avenues, please accept the fact that I love you so very much I wanted to be sure you got it.